Regret

Regret. Remorso. Repentir. Bedauren. Lamento.

It's what keeps you up at night. It's what makes you cringe when a memory passes in front of your eyes. It's the worst feeling in the world. It's something you cannot erase. It's something you'll carry with you all your life. You'll have to live with it like the scar you got from falling over on the same place every time. It's like those invisible bruises that hurt more than the blue blobs that show up on your skin.

There's no control over it. You cannot stop it from coming and the pain never gets less. You just learn to act like it hurts less. You learn not the flinch your face when it attacks your heart like someone crushed it in their hand.

I wish could believe that one day I'll wake up and be able to repeat Edith Piaf's words 'Je ne regrette rien' but that's like believing that one day you'll see a unicorn.