Pandora's Box

Isn't it awfully funny when you get that sadness deep in your heart for no apparent reason? Isn't it hilarious when in a few minutes you can go from being ok to being miserable? And isn't it extremely hilarious that your scumbag brain won't even allow you to cry though you're crawled up in a ball on your bed? I mean really what better way to end the day?

It's a big void. Like stepping into a black hole. It eats all you give and is never placated. Nothing soothes you tattered soul. Not writing this blog, not listening to your favourite songs, not even your little soft toy-like puppy. And when you think it’s too much, then and only then, the vortex of memories comes. And not one by one, no. They seem not to have learnt what staying in line means. Instead it’s a blast to the past, a blitz in your brain, enough to leave you vegetable, not enough to numb you.

And my brain face palm’s itself in disappointment. My heart sighs as it steadies itself for yet another long night, as the world around me turns black and I lay on my bed waiting for sleep.

Horrible unexplained emptiness. Loneliness when there are people who love you. Despair when you have everything. Anger toward yourself for being so stupid. Emotions. A lidless Pandora’s Box. And just a pinch of hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

I'm left rocking myself to and fro on my bed, a tearless face, an aching heart, a lost soul.

The Doll House

They where in the kitchen looking at each other yet their glassy eyes not really seeing. A family of five, the mother, the father, 2 boys and a little baby girl. They also had a dog and a cat. They lived in a lovely house and had everything they needed. The children had their toys, the mother had her wardrobe filled with clothes and the father had his couch in front of the TV. Even the animals had their bowls for food and water. Everything was good, everything was perfect. Not even the eye staring at them from the window disturbed them. Even when their front wall was opened and a large hand approached the father all was good. They all kept their Cheshire cat smile. The large hands manoeuvred them to a room on their own, the children in the bathroom to get washed, the baby in the cot for it was bed time for her, the woman in front of her mirror giving her perfect blonde hair hundred strokes to keep its shininess and the man in their personal bathroom shaving off his beard.

Then they are all placed at the table where they were offered a shiny plastic turkey with even shinier vegetables as a side-plate. And they ate in silence as the eye watched them like a god.  When finished the mother was placed by the dishwasher, the children in bed and their father on the couch. Everyone was where they should be and soon the mother joined the father on the sofa at the other end of the room and finally they where sent to bed, and the large hands closed their wall and left them to join her own game of happy families.

And inside the house the dolls start shifting slowly. The woman and man looking opposite directions. The smile, ever perfect, stamped on their faces. While outside the shouting began followed by crying and silent sobbing until the house was silent as the habitants of both houses got lost in their own dreams. For both acts where played by strangers connected only by their puppeteer.