Dancing to the music

Having spend the weekend at home sick gives you time to think, and think and think and even over think stuff some more. Also it gives you plenty of time to dream, real dreams which your brain weaves up while you're resting to fight the illness off, but also dreams you control. Different scenarios you make up just to entertain yourself, pass the time or to be honest torture yourself.

Because really how can the real world ever live up to your expectations? And how does all that thinking help? Of course the world will seem like a shitty place, of course you'll feel crushed when you get back down on earth. Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we such destructive beings that we prefer being ecstatic for a second in our fantasy than being content in real life?

Yes life's a bitch. Yes it tends to throw more thunder than rainbows. And yes sometimes it's hard to see the silver lining when the clouds are so thick and united. But the more we live in a dream, the harsher the real world seems.

I'm an expert at creating the perfect life in an other world. I can create as many scenarios as you ask me to, any period of time, any age, no problem. But living in the real world, that's a lot harder to do. And it also takes a lot more gut to live in the real life than in the land of make believe. Don't take me wrong, I still think that some make believe is healthy, necessary even. And it will always be my tool to defend myself. But maybe, just maybe it's time to step away.

I don't want to grow up in some bitter old lady who can't remember anything good about her life because she was too busy making up another one. I want to be able to appreciate the small things. The sun shining on my face making my cheeks glow, the smell of the air after a night of rain, people's funny reactions to the wind, watching my friends screaming and wriggling because of a little yellow-striped bug, that feeling when you realise you just found a new song you'll love forever and so much more.

So I've decided to stop taking the coward's road, stand up straight and no not face the music, but dance to it!