The "Pretend" Game

The "pretend" game, is a very complex game. It involves lots of brain work and power of suggestion. Its a game we're thought to play from the moment we start talking. It's a fundamental survival skill in our society, really its as important as breathing.

From the very start of our life our parents force us to pretend. Pretend our family is a happy one, pretend your Nanna loves you, pretend we're god fearing citizens. We also learn that pretending involves lying. White lies at first. Like no I'm not hungry though actually you're starving. No you take the last piece, really I'm sure even though you would love that last piece. The next stage is weaving in the underlying messages. These would go something like no you take it I'm getting so fat. Yeah you eat it you fat pig.

Its just a game to convince each other of our perfect lives. Yes of course I care, yes I love you dear, no I'm not jealous, It's ok mum it doesn't matter that you forgot me and I had to walk it home in the rain, no sister I won't tell mum of your cuts on your arm, I promise I'll help you hide your eating disorder big brother . The fiancé who pretends she still loves him because its too complicated to leave him, the husband who says he's too tired from work for sex while he's been banging the secretary. The girl who pretends she loves her boyfriend because she doesn't want to be alone. The guy who pretends he cares but is in fact just too comfortable in the situation to try something new. The jealous bitch who tries to sabotage her friend with a big Cheshire smile on her face. They're all a game, a defence mechanism to keep people at a distance. To stop those eyes from looking at you with pity when they hear that your parents have separated, your aunt has died, your cousin's in prison. We'd do anything to pretend that we're normal, that we're ok. She'd go out of her way to show that she's forgotten him, his smile, his goofy laugh, the way he made her heart flutter with just a glance. He would even pretend he's somewhere else, not to listen to the same words again, to forget that annoying thing she does when she's nervous, the same thing he fell for her in the first place.

The "pretend" game is also a very dangerous one. Sometimes we try so hard to make other believe our lie, that we start doubting if it was a lie in the first place. When the stories have been twisted in such a way that it forms one big knot, its easier to believe your pretend story then try unwind the knot. She would rather play happy families than live on her own, he would rather be quiet and suffer then tell about his uncle's abuse. We would all rather keep playing the game then come out clean. Because in the end who needs the truth when the game is much more fun?