What should one say on their first post of their new blog? Should there be a long analysed description of the person's self and their activities? Should one start with a joke to break the ice? Or just get down to business and start with the deep stuff?
A million and one questions run through my overcooked brain. What if no one likes it? What if its not what they expect? As a person who spent most of her life trying to please others, self-doubt is a big part of my life. Should I say this or that? Will I sound to foolish, too stupid, too conceited? Am I so full of myself that I think that someone would want to read what I write? All these thoughts have made me postpone this blog again and again.
Because first impressions are important. To say anything else would be fooling oneself. You could retort by saying don't judge a book by its cover but how can I put my hopes on that when I, an avid book lover, pick up books because their cover tickles my interest. Are first impressions always right? No. Does a first encounter weigh heavily on a future relationship? Pretty much. And this does not just apply to human relationships but to any relationship we may have with objects. Yes I did just say that we have relationships with objects. Well at least I do. I have a love/hate relationship with all my things. I cajole them into working, and shout at them when they don't. Sounds crazy? Probably but I always thought things worked better when you showed them you love them.
Coming back to the whole point of this rant. First impressions do matter. And as a person who is a confessed people pleaser this can be nerve wrecking. I have learnt during the years that trying to make everyone happy can never work. Mainly because we humans are never satisfied, we always want more and more. Stretching myself thin between all those people was not really working out. I have the scars were I was starting to tear as a proof. Does this mean that I have stopped trying to please others? Well I wish. The fact is that such in-depth vices are hard to crack. What I have painstakingly learned though is that the guilt of disappointing others hurts less when I actually believed in the decision I took, in the words I spoke and in the way I acted.
So I am here writing this blog not because I think that I'm an amazing writer, but because writing makes me happy. My writing may not be up to standard for certain people, and it may not be of liking for others but it is for my liking. So this is my introduction. I am Shyan, I am recovering from people-pleaser addiction. I judge books by their cover, songs by their title and bands by their name. I am a certified homo sapiens and this is my first post.
