5.14.2012

The Dancing Puppet


One day he found in the attic four wooden plates attached to a tangle of strings and at its end a little lifeless, broken doll. Beautiful porcelain face, blue eyes, red locks and pink lips forming a perfect smile.

Hour after hour he spent on her. Untangling her strings, fixing her, making her dresses, turning her into a princess. And he'd murmur sweet nonsense in her hair in the hope of soothing her and bring her back to life.

Slowly his soft caresses started to effect her and she started to react when he pulled her strings. Her movements were coarse, his jabs where rough but they slowly got used to each other and fell into a smooth rhythm. He willed her to dance and she accepted, for she loved him and was grateful for his patience. Together they made a perfect match, bringing smiles on everyone's face as they saw here graceful dance and her lit up face.

But as time passed he started to get greedy. He wanted her all for himself. He didn't like all the attention she was getting. Because she basked in others' love and started to ignore him.

Hurt and jealousy turned into anger and it instigated revenge. So he went to a sorcerer's for advice on how to punish her.

The sorcerer gave him a potion that would make her dance forever. And she drank it because she trusted him. Thus cursing herself for life and with her he slowly realised he was cursed as well. For as her perfect smile turned into a frown his heart cried out for her.

But all he could do was watch her dance. So he went back to the sorcerer to see what he could do. And the sorcerer turned him into a puppet and he joined her in the dance.

And they belonged to him now but they cared no more. For now they were equals and were together forever.

Dance for me my puppets
Dance these steps I give
Dance until you can't no more
Dance the dance of death

5.03.2012

Sorry


I cannot do this anymore. It doesn't work this way. You take and take and don't give back. I'm spreading myself thin but it's never enough. How can I be someone's hero when I can't even save myself?

You want me to talk through the lips you yourself sewed together. You want my attention yet give me non of yours. You say you care but never listen. You want my confessions and then use the bullets to shoot me. How am I supposed to keep carrying on, just on words?

What do you want from me? Do you want a soldier? Yes, Sir. No, Ma'am. Do you want a lamb? Sitting and not speaking. Do you want a parrot? Repeating every word you say. Would that really satisfy you? Am I supposed to conform to your conditions? Be the clone version of you?

I can't.

I won't.

So all I can say is sorry. A word I know you loathe. But that is all I have. Sorry for not being who you want me to be. Sorry I'm not who I was before. Sorry I'm not who you thought I was. Sorry for being me.